Brock Sapp, Meet Bob Lesnar

   Anyone who was hoping that the fantasies of “Brock the Warrior” would disperse after his public flogging by Cain Velasquez have been sadly mistaken. Still he is ranked among the top five by the bought and paid for media, and still the forums are abuzz with fan boy love. Sure, a certain segment has turned on their former crush in favor of the new passing flavor de jour, but it was only a short time ago that these fair-weather flaksters were pushing Brock as an unstoppable force to be feared. And extending beyond the fan base into the realm of the influential media, there were even a special few “professionals” who have been claiming Brock a beast since his debut against Min-Soo Kim...



“You can see just by the way he controlled Kim from mount, the power he brought, that he is a special kind of fighter, one that heavyweight MMA really hasn’t seen before.”



   Those were the fanboyish words of then Sherdog editor-in-chief Josh Gross after Lesnar‘s first fight, and I’d wager he now feels a fool for having said them.

   Unlike Josh Gross, truly knowledgeable enthusiasts of the sport have been shouting their faces blue about Brock the paper tiger ever since he first disgraced MMA with his presence. But leave it to the throngs of morons that make up MMA’s current fan base to jock this novelty act non-fighter. Like real sheepish whores they accept whatever is jammed into their throats by their pimp-daddy Zuffa.

   Brock Lesnar is a phony, a white Bob Sapp. They both come from a pro-wrestling background which enables them to play up the extracurricular theatrics to draw the attention of the casual couch dwellers which account for the majority of Zuffa’s pay-per-view buys. They both have experience as NFL linemen, giving them that meat-headed muscle freak body type which the closet-case TUF crowd cream their shorts over, ignorantly thinking that’s what a fighter looks like. And finally, they both take punches about as well as a blind folded puppy dog, twirling and flailing the moment an ounce of heat is put on them. Visit any gym during novice hours and you’ll see beginners with more fight composure than what they show when put under pressure.

Twirl technique by Bob the Beast

Twirl technique by Brock the Ballerina

   There would be no issue if Brock would just go away and stop embarrassing the sport, hopefully taking the entire WWE crowd with him. This isn’t the case though as he is still ranked as an elite fighter on the lists of hack media outlets such as Sherdog and MMA Weekly, even as high as #2 in the case of the former. Brock deserves laughter, mockery, and contempt, not praise and glory he’s done nothing to earn. The truth is that the self-proclaimed big dogs of the MMA media have sunk to the swampy depths of shillery, and upon delving into such muddied waters there is no return, as green greed quickly asphyxiates journalistic integrity.

   And so it is, if the masses of uninformed fans cry out for more Brock, the media skunks will gleefully comply, pumping in more smoke and placing more mirrors, prolonging the illusion that is Brock Lesnar. After all, an ignorant fan’s money is just as green as an informed one‘s, and he’s a lot more willing to part with it.

The Fertitta mobsters with their lackey Dana White