Thursday, November 18, 2010

Reader Feedback with Hank

The MMA Haus’ Hank responds to reader comments, suggestions, and various other forms of feedback.

   Lets kick things off with an email we received which is as intriguing as it is brief. A person identifying himself only as “The Artist X” has sent in an amazing piece of hand drawn art with the accompanying text, “No Masters. Solidarity.” It is very exciting to see true art being produced within the MMA community, as our ranks have heretofore consisted only of showy tracers and finger painters. History has proven ink the quintessential courier of truth, and “The Artist X” beautifully upholds this tradition with his illustrative piece we are now privileged to share with you....

   Should any other art of quality find its way to our mail bin, you can rest assured that we will share it. Now to the reader's correspondence...

“To be brief, I have stated often that I hate the nickname "The Mastermind" and if Sherdog is a shill for the UFC why doesn't Sherdog have press credentials?" - Jordan “The Mustard-Mind” Breen in response to our article.

   You hate the nickname, huh? False modesty if I’ve ever seen it, and I have proof.

   Why don’t you tell our reading audience what song you chose as your pod cast’s original theme music… go on, tell ‘em….

   Alright, I will. For the first hundred or so pod casts, Mr. Modesty here chose as his personal theme music a song by Deltron 3030 entitled “Mastermind.” So on top of being a proven shill, you are a liar, good to know. You are no longer welcome on The MMA Haus blog, your IP has been logged, consider yourself barred. To be clear, we do not support the suppression of free speech, but we also do not tolerate chicanery. And don’t let me find you sneaking on here trying to bolster false support for yourself under the guise of one of your pseudonyms like you’ve pathetically done on various forums in the past. What petty, arrogant deceit.

"MySexIsArtsy," one of the many online monikers Jordan Breen uses to anonymously talk about himself on message boards...

“And who are you? You think what you say matters? Any douche bag can start a blog and act like his opinion means anything.” - Beezle

   The classic coward’s approach form a spineless sack of skin cells. So the likes of Tomas Rios and Kevin Iole are legit MMA arbiters in your mushy mind? Jake Rossen, Luke Thomas, Ariel Helwani, these are the people you consider to be your superiors in regards to MMA analysis? Well if that’s true, I feel sorry for you. Meek and embracing of your passive state as a mental consumer.

   Not us at The MMA Haus, we are dynamic thinkers. You see, there is not a single fight that any of the previously mentioned names have seen which we have not seen as well, and I'd be willing to wager we've actually seen many more, as have most longtime fans. So where does their magical insight come from? Surely its not just that you sheepishly believe their shiny websites and hefty financial backing somehow imparts them with some kind of special knowledge, is it? This isn’t the NFL, MLB, or some other ball sport where an expensive suit and a microphone christen you a scholar. MMA belongs to the fans. Its narrative and historical record are ours. We as a collective of fans set them in response to what the fighters demonstrate, not some compromised schmucks who will happily push any promoter’s agenda with dollar signs in their eyes. How can they be trusted? They’re motivations are not pure, are not of love, they are of financial gain. MMA is the people’s sport as long as the people are willing to fight for it. The level of shillery MMA will suffer is the exact level that we as fans allow. You must know that MMA’s past, present, and future has always been, and will always be, in the care of its community of informed fans.

   So while the whorish pundits are fluffier than a goose-feathered pillow, we at The MMA Haus are a sharpened broadsword of MMA knowledge, forged in the fires of truth and hardened upon an anvil of integrity. Unflinching, uncompromising. That’s who we are. Who the hell are you?

“You’re an idiot, you make fun of Brock’s pro wrestling but what about guys like Saku?” - delfon00

   This is what happens when babies try to eat grown up food, they choke on it. Your mind has not matured to the point where you are able to intellectually digest complex cognition. So for your own good, please return yourself to the spoon fed pap of sites like Bloody Elbow and Sherdog, and come back once you‘ve expanded your mental faculties. We‘ll still be here. But until then, enjoy the airplane noises.

    Look, we used Brock’s pro wrestling experience to draw parallels with Bob Sapp. This combined with the other similarities we highlighted created a broader picture which proved our thesis that Brock Lesnar is a fighter without much skill. Other fighters with pro wrestling experience had nothing to do with the topic. If a fighter has skill, his background is irrelevant in terms of using it to critically scrutinize his current abilities. Brock has very little fighting ability, so his background in pro wrestling is relevant, and particular so for the purposes of comparison with another faux fighter. Brock is an entertainer, a side show, a novelty, not a fighter, and our article proved that.

   - theMMAhaus (at) gmail (dot) com

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